White Chicks

(Let me just preface this blog with saying that I don't care who you date.... If you love him you love him. As long as you are not dating my man it's no issue to me. Don't take this blog in offense because there is definitely a moral to this story!)

Verse of the Day
For he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. -Matthew 5:45

Quote of the Day
“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” -Erica Jong

Okay, so how many times have you set around with your girlfriends and talked about how some random man was dogging his white girlfriend (unbeknownst to her). I have been in company with women who see a black man with a white woman (and as look upon them with a look of disdain) they say....."Takin all of our black men..... and they stay because she (the white chick) lets him do whatever he wants."

White women who date black men have been subjected to a myriad of stereotypes. (Just as many, arguably, as black women.) Many have been cast as milly-mouthed, gullible, yes-woman who allow their Mandingo warriors to trample them like doormats. They have been depicted as taking care of their men (even when they are jobless, shiftless, and trifling) and have been said to pay their men's bills, let men run up their credit, and all without question or confrontation.

Many black women have convinced themselves that black men who date white chicks, do so because they "can do whatever they want and get away with it." (And you know...."a black woman just won't stand for that!")

Upon closer inspection and personal reflection I think white women and black women, in many cases, are the same. How do you ask? We both love deep and true. We have both been a fool for men at some point. We both have checked men and failed to check men when they needed it!

Moral of the STORY: Don't be the white chick but learn from the white chick.

I know you are thinking WTF???? Is she smoking? Nope. I'm learning how to be a good woman to my man.

White women, black women, POLKA DOT women don't be a stereotypical "white chick"

Maintain standards.... If a man wants you he will meet them .

DON'T be a doormat..... You know when someone is taking advantage... this is a relationship NOT a sponsorship! Don't let kindness be misconstrued for weakness. Love hard and love smart.

Expect to receive.......Men were created to give.... let them do that! (Don't be so eager to give up your body, money, time, love, and soul.) Take it slow and when the time is right whip it on him (with all of the above).

Don't support men without goals, vision, drive or jobs.....Holding him down is one thing but taking care of his ass is another! God said a man who doesn't work shouldn't eat. If he is between jobs more than he is working take a hint and keep it shoving!

God gave you intuition.... Use It. Men cheat, make mistakes, and mess up money but that doesn't always mean they are no-good. They may not have their stuff together (so you might have to step back let him get it right and come back correct) but with some prayer and some time they may have potential. On the other hand men who show no promise of improvement and no desire to become better .... are merely anchors to your ship. (Let them go so that you can set sail).I said all of that to say this: Use what God gave you to determine who is which!

Don't co-sign for ANYBODY....Not your mama or your man. Your credit is yours to protect and in this day and age it is all you have. There is a reason why the person who needs a co-signer can't get credit...(duh..they ARE LIKE CRIME...THEY DO NOT PAY!)

On the other hand learn from the stereotypical "white chick"

Everything is not "trip-worthy".... Don't trip about everything. Why you ask? because most men loathe drama so they will lie, deceive, and omit to avoid it. When you trip about the smallest issue you train your man to do things that eliminate unpleasant situations (including lying and omission) You want your man to be able talk to you and remain candid even when the situation is less than favorable. He should not be afraid to come for you with little stuff for fear you will rip his head off. (Don't get it twisted because there are times that you should completely flip but every time is not that time.)

Learn the power of silence... Simply put, everything does not call for a response. All displeasure does not have to be expressed, and sometimes YOU need to shut up and listen.

Not gullible but vulnerable and open-minded.... So the last 6 men in your life have been dogs... It's completely possible that the 7th and present man is just who God sent to bless your life. Don't bring your baggage into new relationships. Don't make your new man pay for the mistakes of the old ones. Don't expect and anticipate the worst. Let him love you. Give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves otherwise.

Timing is everything....Don't meet him at the door with drama but instead with a smile and open arms. Feed him before you give him bad news (a full belly covers a multitude of sins). Give him a chance to vent without adding your "two cents" sometimes he is not asking for your advice, input or opinion... He just wants you to listen.

Hold him down (and don't hold it against him)..... If you can support him do it (and don't ever throw it up in his face.) You don't have to support him through a job loss, career change, illegitimate child or any other drama but if YOU do reconcile yourself to do so willingly and cheerfully (as possible). Pray about it, forgive him and hold him down (if you so chose.) You don't have an obligation to please him but you do have an obligation to please HIM (God) Think long and hard about the decision to stay or go, live with it and don't punish him for your choice.

(Disclaimer: Sometimes short term situations morph into permenant situations. Just because you initially signed on to hold him down doesn't mean you have to support him in perpetuity. Be weary of men with "pipe dreams" and limit your support to a reasonable period of time. You are here to support not create dependency.)

Are you actin like a White Chick..........

and that's mytoosense!